Punk Peeves

2007-02-17T19:31:00.000+08:00

It's 7.31 in the evening right now, and I am feeling a little sleepy already. I've got my former JC's PE attire on because for some reason, whenever I'm at home, I'll end up wearing loose shirt and shorts. God knows why - but I find them comfortable. XD

Anyways, my head is a little bothered right now. My life is pretty much okay, but, it seems like life can never be that great. You get something, and then a couple other horrible scenarios follow. Like for example, when you manage to sweep something off your feet, you find yourself dealing with something else. Or when you manage to get something you want, you find that, that something you want has its own appalling qualities. Or when you have moved on, and then the past will stalk your back like you owed it. Actually, in a way, we do owe something to our past. Especially our more horrid past. What do we owe it? We owe it our better side. Our past can be great, and that past will leave us alone - it's like having a great friend from before. But when you have a not-too-good past, it's like an enemy and you bloody hell owe that person either a good explanation or just a simple apology. Either way, what I'm saying here is that once you've got some crappy past you can't leave behind, it's bound to track your trails like a psychopathic dog.

So what can we do? Well, I don't just bring up stuff without having a reason to. So when I bring up about crappy pasts, it's because I do have 'em. And what I did in this case was to simply welcome that past with open arms, and fix it by, well, giving in and letting that past get its way with me. I'm choosing to be vague because, well, I don't feel like getting into detail. But anyways, it feels good, and that past is happy, and I am happy because, like I said, it feels good. That particular past will not haunt me with a knife, but unfortunately, because we have a certain faculty in our brain called the 'Memory Department', I find it especially hard to forget too. So what do I do now, you may ask? I live with it. I made it happy, so now I am going to have to be friends with it. Sounds good? yeah, definitely. So when we are friends, that past wouldn't be a horrid past anymore. In fact, it's going to be my present, and a very healthy and happy and content present at that.

God, going through so many different perspectives is tough, but sometimes, it does help. So right now, that past just can't be my past no more because not only have I fixed it, I can't forget it. And so that will be my present, and because we move on, who knows he could be my future too?

Yeah, I just busted my own bubble at the last sentence there. But at least after screwing your poor brains for having to read my nonsense, you guys get the meat of the deal. Alright, that's all I can say for now.

Peace.

2007-02-17T09:16:00.000+08:00

I'd like to start off by saying Gong Xi Fa Cai! Lol... yeah, I bet there're zilch Chinese people reading this but well - I'm half of it! XD

Tomorrow I'll be meeting my Ah Kong with my fam for respect's sake and of course, because he's my dad's father. So yeah - I've always liked to visit him. (Not because of Ang Paos mind you - I mean, okay, who doesn't love 'em but yeah XD) Although my family and I aren't so close to my dad's relatives, my Ah Kong is fun. He's so cute - like, usually grandfathers speak only their traditional language, but he speaks English, and it's perfect English with an American accent even! HAHA - I love it. And not all dads look like their son or vice versa, but I can totally see my dad in him, AND vice versa - and then I've got an uncle who's like the complete mirror image of my dad and because of that, I get biased and he becomes my favourite uncle LOL. He's a sweet guy anyways. So yeah, can't wait for tomorrow! ^.^ I'll wear something red. Actually I already am today for work.

Work has been really fun. I mean, because I'm working at a retail outlet, of course there will be times when we all (my colleagues and I) get bored stiff when no customers come in, but all-in-all, I love this job. No, not because I can slack, but because the people around me are great, and I have this colleague - MY GOD, she must be like an angel in disguise. She might come off simple to most people, but once you know her better, you'd wanna never loose contact with her. She's there to listen, give me advice like those that never crossed my mind, and if not that, she'd give me advice that had long been bubbling inside me but that I don't have the guts to believe it. I mean, gosh, the worst part was when I did some mistake(S) on the cashing and then I had to like pay back the money on that day itself, which was yesterday, but she did it for me! She went down to get the cash out from her ATM and pay it for me!!! I mean, MY GOD, I was so touched I got speechless. Even THAT didn't cross my mind - I was just thinking about how I had to explainto my boss about it when she came in to save me from getting kicked in the butt. And THEN, when we had to go home, she took one of the bags with a wrapped stuff toy in it that she had at first claimed was for her sister, only to hold it up and say that it was for me. I was like WHAT??! I mean, we barely know each other for five days and already she's spending so much for me? I mean, I've torubled her enough by needing her to pay for my mistakes, but now she actually even bought me a gift??? I was so shocked I didn't breath for a minute there.

But yeah, material possessions aside, she really is a great coworker. There are so many types of people out there in the working life that I've met - lazy, couldn't-care-less attitude, complete hypocrites (I believe we're all hypocrites to some extent, because sometimes we have to act a certain way for the good of the whole situation, but god, those hypocrites I'm referring to? They're just being assholes), arrogant, domineering, proud, and so on. It's a really dangerous world out there so we gotta step into it with a set of thorns and spikes of our own. But those aside again, this certain colleague of mine is definitely, without a doubt, the best colleague I've had so far. She may not be the most stylish person ever, but inside, she's already so god-damn beautiful.

Alright, I'll be working again today. So for my lovely sisters XD - do come online to chat before I get pulled away for work! LOL I miss you guys already - can't believe I bumped into you yesterday AISY! HAHA so unbelievable, but at least you got to see my shop ^.^ - anyways, I'll end here now. Been really busy the past few days and that's why I couldn't go on. But I'll be getting three days off from Sunday onwards so see you guys on here more often yeah?

Peace.

2007-02-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

The skies are turning a brighter shade of grey
The horizon shorn in pinks and rays
Orange and warm - a sizzling rush
The sea a splendour of blues and hues
Chill and darkness truce
And upon my cheeks a frisky flush

Have I been sought after...?
I wouldn't know - I thought later
My fate of solitude, and peace together
But loneliness altogether
A different story - a bother
I find myself quietly in my heart stutter

I need to be loved as much as I'd like to love
A heart cannot beat alone
I need something to bend and curve
This state that for me is so prone

A dream, and a wish for something deep
And strong like the overpowering skies and asleep
Am I beneath the cloak fringed by the horizon
A sizzling rush is true and it creeps
While my mind sways by the sea that rips
My soul - so heavy it weighs almost like a burden

Because although I long for love and its pleasure
I'd rather be all alone hereafter
I am happy with all things that has happened
I will wait though, and I will not falter
One will pass after the next and the other
I will light a candle - a symbol that my heart will still burn

For that one person I do not know who
God knows - I will not question
And although that next person could be you
Don't count on me not being a sentence.

I'm not discouraging love - I am merely challenging it. =)

Peace.

2007-02-12T09:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my first day at work and it actually turned out great. Teddy bears all around me... the whole place was warm all-in-all. I like that in my working environment. Although... I do know that if I were to hold a job as a criminal pyschologist in future, the job wouldn't even hit the warm factor. But it doesn't matter - I think everyone can adapt to their environments, it's just a matter of anting to or not. So I say, just to be in my dream job, I bloody hell sure will adapt that's for sure.

I will be working today again, all the way until Saturday, and then I will get my day off. Today will be a very tiring and busy day because it's a Monday and the company made it a point to do a lot of cleaning up on Mondays. Oh well, and to think I only just started yesterday. And right now the Grammy's on TV and I probably can't watch a third of it because I have to go to work. What a wonderful start to a day. Sigh... I guess I shouldn't be complaining too much. I can do nothing about it, unless I prefer to get fired just to watch some television programme, no matter how the programme promises so much for fans like me. :(

Oh hell, there might be an encore who knows. (I'm just trying to comfort myself XD) But if there isn't, there's such a thing as YouTube, and I can bet my two cents' worth that they're gonna put up short video-takes of parts of the entire show. Ah... this is when I love the Internet so much.

Peace.

2007-02-11T09:51:00.000+08:00

Alright! SO today is the 11th of February and I am here to wish the one and only MIKE SHINODA of LINKIN PARK a very HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY! Wishing you all the best for your future endeavours be it musical or artistic - you are equally talented in both brotha! I am calling you brotha because well, apparently a certain sister of mine has since tied the knot with him, ahem ahem... XD LOL!

BTW sissers (LOL)! I am on right now, so if you are, do get on MSN before I get to work today lmao! Sigh.. work work. Teddy bears! But speaking of teddy bears, yup let's not get out of topic - Happy Birthday once again to Mike Shinoda, he's just so great. He's actually my role model in a way, LOL, but of course, Chester will always be my darling XD. He sure as hell doesn't look 30 btw, not in the pic, not in real-life. O.O

Anyways, I am not afraid to dream big, are you? At least, I am one to believe that reality can only happen where dreams have first been wished. ^.^

So step on that wishing pedal and don't be afraid to soar with the wind and by the stars - because for all we know, our wishes always hold something of the real world. ;-D

Peace.

2007-02-10T18:44:00.000+08:00

I wait for you... I don't know why
All I know is I can't hide
At this temperature...
You could take over my mind...
Like gossamer, you softly touch
He draws me in...
I'm powerless
He possessess...
An enchantment

Tell me I'm forgiven
He calls
Don't know how I fell under his spell
Lately... I've been driven
He smiles...
An enchantment

I wait for you... I'm mesmerized
This love is like a potion in disguise...
I'd tightrope walk... with a blindfold on my eyes
I can't escape... Or so it seems
I'd run away... He's in my dreams
He possessess...
An enchantment

It's the type of sleepwalk that never ends
A kind of loan with no dividends
It's a parlour game where you're given chase
Guess it could be called an acquired taste
I know, he knows
He calls, I go... I know
This could be an enchantment...

Lyrics by Corinne Bailey Rae - she's my favourite female artist ever. ;-D Pure and just simply au naturale.

Peace.

2007-02-09T15:42:00.000+08:00

Smile when the world caves in on you
Smile when the seas turn a murky blue
Smile when the grass sheds its green

Love the flowers that have wilted and torn
Love the soil that has its life shorn
Love the life as we are - a teen.

Because life can never be all lovely and nice
Everything comes with a certain tag and price
But we can choose to live in bliss
Amidst hurt and chaos in harmony

Listen to the singing waves that loom
And the baby leaves that sprout from the old
Smell the flowers that are still abloom
And the beating heart of the earth we behold

I am here to show you the way
If not for everything, I can guide you in some
Smile and love and laugh in glee
And step away from the shadows into the sun.

Dedicated to aisy! Stay cheery and don't let obstacles put you down. I will be here for you. =D

2007-02-06T08:23:00.000+08:00

So it's been a while since I've updated anything about my life. But here I am. Not because I got ground-breaking news, but because I have nothing better to do really.

Later at 1.15 pm, I will have another interview at Sasha's Bear, a bear boutique - how cute is that seriously? They are hiring a sales associate or something like that, and I hope to get it. It's kinda nice to be surrounded by bears every day. I like it. And obviously, when your shop is selling bears, people who come in want to buy bears, and people who want to buy bears are happy people because people buy bears either as gifts or for collection. Even if they were moody to begin with, coming into a shop full of BEARS will definitely put a smile on their faces. So not only will I be surrounded every day by bears, I will be surrounded by happy people too. Sounds really good to me.

But later at 3 pm, I will have another interview at Grand Orchard Suites as a front desk receptionist. Sounds cool too - I probably will get a nice suit for a uniform every day. And the place must be really grand and gorgeous - it's a freaking suite, of course they gotta live up to suite standards. Gold chandeliers... marble floors... Victorian furniture, that sorta thing, you know? I think the pay would be great, and I have no problem conversing with clients as long as I am: a) just as tall as them which I probably would be considering the heels I would gladly wear every single day, and b) I am just as important and high-up-there as they are because apparently, the clients would be those Caucasian people, and rich Singaporeans who couldn't resist a night at a hotel. I mentioned how I can't stand these kinda people at the manicurist store? Well this time, I will not do their nails nor their feet. I'm gonna provide them information to their room which they REALLY NEED. Now that's how I feel high-up-there as well.

Unfortunately, I have a feeling that I may not be able to start school once I start working. The hours are going to eat up my entire day and hence, I can't school. Sasha's Bear working hours are from 11am to 7pm, but I don't know about Grand Orchard Suites. As a HOTEL receptionist, I can expect long working hours or even shifts. I don't know, I really don't know - what I know though, is that I still need to get hold of one of them. The bears, or the gold chandeliers. Both make me happy. So...

Oh well. Maybe I might not even get one at all. But I won't be pessimistic now. I really can't. I need to attend each interview like I own it. I will curl my hair again later because I find my straight hair a little limp and too adolescent (not to mention rebellious because of the colour) - but after curling, the colour will not be an issue anymore, for some reason, because it's like as if curls are meant for brown and lighter hair, not jet-black which my hair naturally is. -_-
Jet-black hair is nice but... not for pale people like me. I'll look like an extension of the Addams family.

Anyways... I am experiencing a couple butterflies in my stomach. GOD. Why am I feeling so anxious? It's just another INTERVIEW. Okay, make it two. But everytime I leave an interview without getting the job, I will actually feel angry. MAD. Resentful because I feel degraded - like they couldn't count on me to do a good job which I bloody hell can. I believe in myself. That's what I strongly hold for. No one can really change my beliefs other than people I care about, and whom I know care about ME. Why waste your time on people who wouldn't give a damn if you're still alive or dead? But that's not the point - I am just going to do my best later, show the best and most professional side of me (hehe... XD) and grab a job. Man... someone help me. I need a drive.

Okay, I had a talk with my mom too just now. It's about marriage and how a couple can keep the flame burning, one of which is to hug and kiss each other before one of them goes to work, which usually is the husband. This is a sort of motivation for the husband, who is going to leave his comfort zone, which is the house, for something more different and challenging outside at his workplace. And I was telling my mom how she DOES understand in the end. She really does - the energy, motivation that the husband gets, is something I hunger. Okay, this may make me sound like some... whatever, but I don't care anymore what anyone has got to say or think about me, but I need that. I need that motivation, that energy that can keep me going, and somehow, it can only come from a special guy, someone whom I can share my romantic and honest and truthful side with. It'll be like I have something to look forward to every day. I bet Chester got that from his first wife too. I bet Mike got it from Anna. And I bet any other normal human being on earth gets that from their significant other.

After that talk with my mom, it only made me see more clearly what I truly lack - which is that. I am human. I am normal (or at least, I'd like to believe XD), and I hunger for that drive, that energy too. I feel so dry and weak without it. But what can I do? I can't sit around hoping for that special guy to come by one day. Right now, I guess I got to be strong. Yeah... easier said than done, but can anyone suggest me something else instead? It's like those typical women who come home after work at night and flop into their couches, and then stone a while as they realize the cloak of painful solitude that is slowly but surely suffocating them as they sit there all alone. It's happening to me, HAS happened for years now. No wonder I look older than my age by at least 3 years. My mom was saying how the energy my dad gets from her keeps him looking young LOL. (He looks 40 when he's really 60 in 2 years' time) That energy could be the answer for staying forever young I swear.

Okay, I think I've blabbered too much already. I have to go now and... do whatever. Sing? Yeah, I like singing. Some songs seem to understand me but they don't really. It's just the right choice of words sung at the exact moment I needed it.

...

Okay, maybe some songs do understand me, but it hurts to know that the doc can only say what I am suffering from, without giving me the medication. And I want that medication.

Peace.

2007-02-03T11:11:00.000+08:00

Rays that are warm
But the air a chilly breeze
I think about your smile
And your folded sleeves...
You stayed and didn't leave
For once I believe.

Call me a dreamer
As long as the sun will still rise
To set off the warmest of glows
Across your face and your almond eyes
The gaze that took me way up high
And your kisses that made me sigh

But sadly I sit here all alone
My tears flow like drying pearls off the surface
And my heart so heavy it sunk with the sea
My hope seems like a losing case
And you filter through life like lace
I can't grasp this - I'm standing on weak base

Tell me that you will come by
Soon if not right this second
I have waited in vain for too long
But still my faith hasn't bent
I feel your voice, a god-sent
And giving you up, I can't.

I will never.

2007-02-01T15:13:00.000+08:00

Okay... this is so weird to say but yes, I have quit my job again. -_- This is really starting to get old.

I told 'em that my private course is starting and so that is why I have to leave. It's a shame because firstly, the people there are really very nice, but it's also a shame because I lied. There's no school. I am so free I could swallow my hand whole to kill time. But there are so many factors that pushed me to quitting - like how it is so hard for me to do a good job painting nails. God, I tried doing it on my colleagues' nails and it turned out so bad I could bawl. But strangely enough, I did it very - okay, pretty - well on my own nails. -_- Maybe it's the nerves. It really doesn't help that my 'client' would be staring at me doing my job the whole darn time. I can't take that, I am so sorry. Since young, I can only do art when I am all alone because I really need the privacy and space. People staring at me doing my work really lessens the space for me, and makes me feel suffocated I won't do a good job.

The fact that I can't do a good job painting nails is bad enough - but having LAWYERS, BANKERS, BUSINESSWOMEN and LADY BOSSES to deal with is really too much to take. Can you imagine the kind of pressure I would have to face when I have to paint the nails of these people? They'll probably be the hardest bunch of people to please. And to think that one day I would like to be a woman of that kind of substance. There's nothing wrong with being powerful, independent and confident, but when it is on the expense of others, nuh uh. I am not going to be a b****. Okay, I am not saying those people are, but the pressure they exude unto me will be too much to bear, and THAT'S a b****.

Thirdly, it's the fact that the shop is located at Boat Quay where all the gorgeous, expensive restaurants are located, and where the UOB building sits tall and big a couple feet away. It all sounds good, especially with the river snaking by it, but when you add in branded suits, black shiny loafers, pencil skirts, ties, immaculate hair and heavy briefcases, the whole place seemed to scream ADULT WORLD. For God's sake, I am only EIGHTEEN. I may look 20 or even 25 to some people, but inside I am still a girl at heart. I am mature, but not OLD. God. I can't accept how I'd have to face all these people every single working day. Yes, adults are practically everywhere in Singapore, but these adults are not just ordinary adults. Like I said, they are those BUSINESS inclined people. No offense but sometimes, I find myself COMPLETELY in DISGUST at these people. They seem to have no life. And their fashion sense is limited to simple cuts and colours spanning from black to... grey?

So yeah... those are the main reasons. Other reasons like how I don't have colleagues of my age, and how they are all Chinese and stuff are petty reasons, and I don't see those affecting me much. It's more to what I have said above.

It's sad... I have to say. But at least, I'll be able to accompany my mom to find jobs for her. She gets lost easily. ^-^'''

So yes... I might find a job for myself. But this time, maybe it'll be simple, admin work where I'll handle filings and the infamous lil computer. Yeah sure, admin is related to business, but at least, it wouldn't be at Raffles. I'll make sure of that. :/

Peace.

2007-01-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

Gosh, I am pretty drained right now, but I can't go to sleep yet because I need to do more nail-painting. I need to ace it. Why? Because I've been hired as a manicurist!

I have only started work today, and it was all-in-all, pleasant. The staff there are very hospitable and nice, patient and generous with me, and the boss is the mom of one of my closest friends from Cedar! It's really great, I think I will stick with this job for as long as it takes. I will really need the money to support my future school fees. ^-^

The place is located in Clarke Quay, right by the calm little river, and behind this huge UOB building at Raffles Place. Yeah, a lot of office workers are there, especially during lunch and dinner. It's actually pretty stressful -.-, they're all so well-dressed and wealthy I should say, and elegant and smart. And I have yet to own a decent pair of slacks and formal blazer. -_-

But I love where the place is located still, and the working hours and the staff and the boss and the job itself! Doing manicure is pretty fun, although challenging. I mean, you gotta sit right beside your client and do her fingers for crying out loud, with her looking at what you're doing. You can't go wrong too much because she's gonna know that you're a no-good rookie and she's not gonna come back to you ever again. That sucks really. :S

Well the pressure is here. And when I came back home today, it's really relaxing and blissful to hear Corinne's songs again, almost like calming water with roses and dews and the peaceful countries and gardens beyond... really beautiful. Sigh... but once I need to get hyped up, my hubby will be there for me. ;-)

Okay, I think that is all I have to say for now. Tomorrow will be another day and I hope everything will turn out just as fine as today. =)

Peace.

2007-01-29T15:55:00.000+08:00

The sun burns the fields alight
And drinks the lake that sits for miles
The clouds melt in masses of white
And the wind screeches, its throat dries
Cover me gently, protect me I am sore
I cower in a corner, my soul dead by the core
My life is torn, forlorn and shorn,
My tears have dried, the sun burns more
I have drunk that lake, burnt that field
I have taken the clouds and the wind I steal
I am the sun but in all my glory
Why do I still sit alone, dry and longing?

2007-01-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

I think I am into people who are just themselves, relaxed, cool, and just collected. Well, I wouldn't like boring people, but those who are just, them. Like, they may not be like those three descriptives up there, they can be a little insecure, a little timid, but as long as they are still themselves, still carry the kind of aura that says, 'this is me, and i am accepting myself for who i am, and putting that out for the world to see' then I will be into them and supportive of their endeavours. ^.^

I'm saying all those because I have suddenly found an interest in Corinne Bailey Rae. She has a beautiful voice, almost god-sent, with its gentle and relaxed tone, and she makes the song she sings sound so easy and light to the ears. I also have my idol, (lol) Chester in mind as I said those stuff in the first paragraph. He'd had a horrible childhood and adolescence, but then as he grew up, he found himself and managed to lead a life that's all him and about what he loves to do, completely pushing aside whatever that will get in his way (example, people who are bad to him XD).

Here's something I did in tribute to my two idols:

Hehe... yeah, one's like all gentle, jazzy and soul, the other's more hardcore rock, but hey, each represents the kind of attitude and personality I'd like to actually see from their own genders. The gentler and demure female, the edgier and roughneck male. ;-)

Also, today I went out with my family to search for a job, and also to search for this psychology book that I so want. But unfortunately, I got neither, and well, I will be searching once again during the following days.

And before I go, here's something that I would like to share with you guys:

Sweet like the kiss of a rose

The petals a touch of careless love

And when they the special one you chose

Imperfect and whole;

Their being comes with the peace of doves;

And you will know they've been sent to you from above.

=) Peace --

2007-01-19T12:46:00.000+08:00

Man, check this joke out - one of the funniest I've come across in my life!

About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese would leave. The Chinese realized that they had no other choice.

So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them. Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "Neither side would be allowed to talk". The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where he sat. The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out an apple. The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The Chinese can stay." An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions." "Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us." He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God >>was also right here with us." "I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded around Ah Peh. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I replied to him f*#k off and not one of us is leaving." "Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here." "Yes, and then???" asked the crowd. "I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!!"

Rockin' joke.

Peace --

2007-01-15T18:09:00.000+08:00

Today, I had a phone call from the company that I am hoping to work for as a fashion designer. I don't know what this company is truly about, all I was told was that I might be required to do clothes for women spanning the ages of 20 to 30 years old. I will have to come down with my portfolio for an interview this Wednesday, and hopefully, I'll get the job. ^-^

Well, and other than that, got down to meet up with my jc friends again, and it really was a sweet experience. I will probably go down to sch tomorrow just to see them again and also to collect a couple things that a couple other of my friends had kept for me - class stuff, art CDS, things like those. Well, I was wondering if I should go back in my sch u... the only problem is that my hair isn't exactly school-legal. Ehehehe...

So, I'll just see what happens, and will be drawing and sketching a heck of a lot more fashion designs. ^_^

Peace --

My Wishlist!

2007-01-12T18:36:00.000+08:00

This is just to remind myself, but in case you guys might just wanna take a peek, this is my WISHLIST!

1. Treadmill
2. Linkin Park CD
3. LPU membership
4. Hair colouring
5. Clothes (TONS of 'em)
6. Shoes
7. Bags
8. Make-up
9. TONS of psychology books
10. Issey Miyake perfume!
11. Gym membership
12. PS3
13. Laptop
14. Brand new computer
15. CreatiVe Zen iPod
16. Paint for HOUSE makeover

Of course all of the purhcasing will happen over a period of like two years maybe? Those are stuffs that I want as an individual. But every once in a while, I'm gonna be going round treating ma fam and sisters man! Lol - so gonna do that. Needless to say though, all of these will happen AFTER I put aside like... at least a quarter of the cash earned monthly for school fees. That is what that drove me to work in the first place.

So yeah. My headache is still not going away. It gets worse at night. My parents are gonna take me to the hospital on 23rd Jan for an X-ray. Hopefully everything will be alright. If not, then I will have nothing else to say other than it has all been fated.

Peace --

2007-01-11T17:48:00.000+08:00

The rain will not stop.
Ellen is such a witty and funny woman, although she would not be the first person I would ever confide into, considering how her attention span on a certain topic her guest talks about can only last for the first five seconds.
I feel so brain-dead.
I have read a couple of psychology books and notes, and I have gone to various websites on psychology and the different scopes of it.
I have decided to finalise my decision about pursuing neuropsychology.
The Tyra show has just started.
I think she is a pretty false woman - not because she is plastic, but because I find her rather contradictory sometimes.
But it is great that she is promoting plus-sized women, that is cool.
I am having a mild headache.
Do not ask me why I am writing like this - all I can say is that I do not feel like writing essays.
I am getting hungry again.
I feel like ice-cream, despite the rain.
I am feeling pretty lonely right now - wish my sisters are getting online. :(
I am upset that I cannot pursue art or fashion or design in the meantime.
Singapore is such a hypocritical country.
Singapore is safe, green and clean but it lacks genuinity and passion in most of its people.
Education in Singapore is SICK.
Singapore has been known to have one of the world's most cut-throat education ever.
It groups kids according to their IQ numbers, ignoring completely their talents in so many other fields.
It is hypocritical because it has ONLY RECENTLY decided to delve into other fields like sports and art by forking out cash to build institutions for it.
Other countries have done it, now Singapore wants to do it.
I think I will get busted by the Singapore government for condemning my own country, but at least I am citing my own point - to be genuine and not suck up.
Sucking up could be one of the most disgusting things ever.
Authorities are either respected or disrespected.
I want ice-cream!
I feel sick - my headache is not going away.
Travis from 'So You Think You Can Dance' is... oh God.
Travis is hot.
But Chester is my darling, forever.
I am such a...
Okay, I need to get a grip once again.
Oh, Sya ma sis, let's go out this weekend! ;-)

Peace --

ADMIN JOB ON THE WAY!

2007-01-10T11:02:00.000+08:00

Okay, the California Fitness Center thing didn't work out -the job was too demanding in that, the working hours clash with my academic one, I need to be ultra outgoing to ever make it in the business (sales consultant - I need to convince people to join CFC and conviction requires an outgoing and non-shy personality -_-) and there are just way, way too many gorgeous people around they make me nervous. I'M SERIOUS. Beautiful people make me nervous. Be it girls or guys. Somehow the more beautiful the person, the more jedgemental they become. At least, that's the kind of vibe I get from them. That's not to say all good-looking peeps are judgemental, neither are average-looking people anymore merciful. It's just that at CFC, the girls look intimidating while the guys are just a little too annoying for my taste -_-. Well, ask if you're curious for elaboration. XD

Anyways, my dad called me up this morning to tell me about another job that I might get, a job offered from my aunt's workplace at some office. I'll work by the desk, (yeah, guess I'll have my own desk O.O) and file data and what not every single day. It'll be a 5-day job, and that is perfectly fine by me ^-^. As long as there are no gorgeous people around to scare the heck out of me, and generally no one else standing around to judge what I do, then I will be absolutely fine. Geez... I know, I promise I'll get over my insecurities. That is, once I get a grasp of what I do, then I'll become the intimidating one. XD

Okay, that's all for the update. I'll be waiting for further confirmation from my aunt about where and when to meet and stuff, and then I'll go with my dad ^-^. Can't wait. Roll in the money babeh! And of course, the valuable job experience. Hehe...

Alright, peace --

Interview

2007-01-08T09:52:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, today I am going to go for the interview for a post as a receptionist at Novena's Velocity's California Fitness Center. I had a couple interviews before like a year back while I was waiting for my then 'O' level results, and after having work experience, I thought working in itself was way tougher than some short interview. And so after working life was momentarily over just as that of schooling stepped in, I told myself that interviews are really nothing - it's just the interviewer trying to be intimidating and scary just so they can gauge just how much we want the job in the way we handle the situation. And so I thought, intimidate me? Scare me? YOU WISH.

But right now, as I am typing, I can already feel my pulse beating faster than it normally should. I can't stop shaking my legs as I sit here, and I can't get my thoughts straight. Well, I am trying to remind myself about the experiences I had before, and about my theory that interviews are way easier than the job itself, but I still do feel anxious. I guess it's normal?

Well anyways, talking about being tough and all, I did got tough - just a little too tough on my character, that is. My family and I were having dinner a couple days ago at Toa Payoh's Fork and Spoon - it's a really nice place, and of course, Halal. It's almost like a replica of Banquet, except that it has more choices and a nicer ambience, all white and lime-green and yellow and stuff. Yeah but anyways, not to digress too much, my family and I were having a nice dinner together when this Indian couple came to sit beside us on a couple table. Yeah, it's normal, I noticed them, they noticed us, so it's all fine. Nothing is amiss.

But then as a couple minutes passed and the couple have already ordered their stuff, the guy, who's all fat and balding, decided to become an asshole. My family and I were having such a nice dinner together, and I couldn't help but notice the guy looking at our direction all the time. ALL THE TIME, I'm serious. Zilch exaggeration. He kept looking at my dad's coffee, and then at me, and then at my brother's steak, and occasionally at the table as a whole. And this went on for almost TEN MINUTES. My brother sounded to me, and I got even more alerted by it, convinced that I was not 'feeling too much' or in Malay, 'perasan'. And for some reason my defence wall began to build up as much as my anger and irritation did.

Okay, I know we shouldn't be too affected by these kinds of things - there have been many cases where people fought just because one party couldn't stand it when the other party kept staring. But seriously, staring is rude, and people just have to accept it. It never is a nice feeling to be stared at like that, and for the sake of my family, I was enraged as well because apparently, he was staring at them too.

I told myself to relax, to let him go. But after another couple minutes of him still doing it, I blew my top, and told him off, "Excuse me, what are you staring at?" And of course, he looked stunned. OF COURSE, I could have laughed. What a complete loser.

"I wasn't looking at you," was his painfully, painfully lame response, his eyes betraying his conviction. He was starting to look insecure. Aww...

"Sure - but you were looking at the rest of us here." I glared at him. My family was already alerted by my sudden action, and they could do nothing more than just to continue with their food. The gay - I mean, guy - was already pathetically trying to seek solace and support from his girlfriend who needless to say, could do nothing more than give him an expresssion of surprise.

"It is very annoying, do you know that?" I stressed, glaring at him and his already frightened frame, despite his size and bloated tummy. "And it is very rude." I suddenly felt like I was a kindergarten teacher teaching a kid about manners. He didn't even apologize, he got back to his food and from then on, never looked our way again. Ah... how sweet is victory.

Anyways, my whole family expressed their shock towards my action after the couple left. My dad was giving me that smile and saying, "Why'd you do that?" but he'd said that without suggesting how I shouldn't. And my bro went all "I can't believe you did that." My mom only gave me a look and I had to defned myself, "He was the one who started it. I couldn't take it. For your information, this is how I am outside." And my mom laughed, "Wow, 'garang' sey...", garang meaning fierce in Malay.

Well, I'm glad til this day that I gave that fat bastard a piece of my mind. He deserved that - that should teach him to keep his eyes to himself. Pfft.

Alright, now I shall consume my mind in thoughts of the interview. Maybe for once, I should keep that kind of pride in myself so I can get rid of my weaker traits such like anxiety. Huh... not easy, but am gonna try.

Peace --

Ill-Health

2007-01-07T10:59:00.000+08:00

I feel so horrible I am surprised at myself for still being able to do anything much less turn on the com. Well I had to turn the com on firstly because I need to get myself better acquainted with Microsoft Office - which includes MS Words, MS PowerPoint and of course, MS Excel. I am lost with Excel and because of that I feel totally stressed out. The reason why I need to get myself better acquainted with MS Office is simply because I might become a receptionist - and a receptionist is expected to have a good grasp of that field. MS Words and MS PowerPoint are alright so far, although I would say I wouldn't know everything about either of them. But MS Excel? Gosh, I would be a disgrace to the receptionists out there, if I even get to hold the post at all.

I got a call this morning about a reminder of me having to attend an interview tomorrow. And guess where I would be a receptionist in? California Fitness Center. Can you believe it? CALIFORNIA FITNESS CENTER. -_-'' -- gosh and I don't even have the best abs as yet. -_- Wouldn't visiting people be expecting that place to be bursting with people with great bods? Well, I sure as hell would be an exception. Ahh...~

Drop it. I shouldn't be caring about that right now. I think what I should care about is whether I would do a good job as a receptionist there. Not like I'm gonna need to wear some tight-fitting clothing on... right? Ah to hell with it. They can't possibly be so irrational as to disclude me from becoming a receptionist just because I don't got the best abs or bod around. A receptionist is a RECEPTIONIST - she, or rarely he, does administrative work. Not... train or become a bod role model there.

Alright, am still painfully sick, what with the blocked nose and sore throat. Gosh... this is really bad. As if having an average enough bod isn't bad anough for such a place - I need to have a flu to make it worse? Hopefully I'll feel better by tomorrow. God knows if they'd boot me out the shortlist just because I had a flu. -_-

Peace --

Collect and Compose...

2007-01-06T20:29:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... the title sounds as though I am about to create a song - collect and gather thoughts and ideas before composing the song... Which I am not exactly doing, but I guess it could apply metaphorically to my posts... lol, don't mind me.

Anyways, I just had dinner and gosh, I am so full. Content, but too full. This is bad. It is believed that we humans should not stuff ourselves so much so as to feel so bloated that we start to regret having eaten so much. Well, I guess I have learnt it the hard way. Take a look:

Yes, It is a cat - or kitten, specifically. But take me that way.

Okay, I should stop being so random. Apparently, I have deleted my other posts because I find them too annoying. Lol. I will just do a summary of whatever that had been brought up earlier - am going to PATH which is a psychology school by february and am finding a job as a receptionist to kill the time until school starts. Yeah, guess you guys know about it, lol, but well, for the sake of the posts deleted. Sorry to digress, but I guess I am considered a private student now. O.O

I shall chill now, watch a couple videos and enjoy the night breeze.

Peace --